Alexandra leaving

She made me listen to this song the first time we met. "Its a song about me", she said. These memories of her overshadow my life nowadays. Everything is in black and white except when I close my eyes, and see her looking at me again. I've turned into a blind man, drinking his sorrows away, hibernating from all the outside world. Even though I sleep in 12 hour intervals, I still feel tired, I feel like the world is crushing me from the inside out. I just... fuck. She was the one. And I feel like I blew it. I was waiting for a girl like that for almost 10 years now, and she's gone now. I still love her. I would just stop everything now to be with her again. Being alive is against my natural instinct, and its slowly driving me crazy. God... I didn't cry at my father's funeral, nor at his death, but I would just whimper like a kid if I just see her again.

I cannot study.

I cannot breathe.

I cannot blink.

I cannot live without loving.

I cannot live without being loved.

I am the eternally cursed poet.

I am the senseless romantic.

I am my own downfall.

I am as good as dead when she's not there.